(I’m) ready for editioning, editioning
Gotta get it over the line, you know? But Someone’s left a mess again, a mess again Studio is covered in grime all over Never clean it up, what a grot! Ink all over the blanket Missed a spot, gettin’ hot Under the collar now Why, why? My, my, my, wooh! M-m-m-mucky roller Can’t read the label on the tin, even a hint Underneath a layer of green, all over You’d reckon that it was a sin, to use a bin Where the hell’s this spatula been, Moreover? You never clean it up, such a grot, ink all over the blanket Missed a spot, gettin’ hot Under the collar now Why, why? My, my, my, Wooh! M-m-m-mucky roller M-m-m-mucky roller Lead break When I open up the ink, why is it pink? Looking like the scene of a crime. You know, There’s something with a mighty stink, beneath the sink The universe is sending a sign, to go Never clean it up, such a grot, Ink all over the blanket Missed a spot, gettin’ hot Under the collar now Why, why, why, why why? Wooh! M-m-m-m-m-m-m-my, my, my, my my, Wooh!, M-m-m-mucky roller M-m-m-mucky roller M-m-m-mucky roller M-m-m-mucky roller Ooooh, Why? Mucky roller Ooooh, Why? Mucky roller Ooooh, Why? Mucky roller Berton Averre & Doug Fieger (The Knack), My Sharona, 1979
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My workshop brings beginners on board
Cause my prints are better than yours Damn right, they’re better than yours I can teach you, but I have to charge My workshop gets more punters in doors Cause my press is bigger than yours Damn right, it’s better than yours You can use it, but I have to charge I know you wanna Learn all my secrets Unveil my mysteries But talent can’t be bought You must perfect the art Come on, let’s start! La-la-la-la-la Warm it up La-la-la-la-la The plates a’heatin La-la-la-la-la Roll it up La-la-la-la-la Got my backing sheet My workshop brings beginners on board Cause my tool is sharper than yours Damn right, it’s better than yours You can use it, but I have to charge My workshop gets more punters in doors Cause my black is deeper than yours Damn right, more even than yours I can teach you but I have to charge You know I’m gonna Make it look easy Techniques you won’t believe The way I wipe Will blow your mind Now stand in line La-la-la-la-la Speed it up La-la-la-la-la The class is waitin’ La-la-la-la-la Ink it up La-la-la-la-la Got my paper soakin’ My workshop brings beginners on board Cause my rack is bigger than yours Damn right, it’s better than yours You can use it, but I have to charge My workshop gets more punters in doors Cause my edge is cleaner than yours Damn right, it’s better than yours I can teach you but I have to charge Oh, now you’ve been inducted Make sure you look this way Give me your full attention My every word obey Maintain an even pressure Same time maintain your cool Follow the golden rule Hand behind your tool! La-la-la-la-la Roll it up La-la-la-la-la Even application La-la-la-la-la Line it up La-la-la-la-la Check out my registration My workshop brings beginners on board Cause my press is bigger than yours Damn right, it’s better than yours You can use it, but I have to charge My workshop gets more punters in doors Cause my prints are better than yours Damn right, they’re better than yours I can teach you, but I have to charge Cancelled? What do you mean, no bookings? They’re doing Rona’s workshop instead? Oh, for god’s sake! Pharrell Williams & Chad Hugo, Milkshake, 2003 Julie, Chorus, Julie & Chorus
Mayo, Mayo Deadline looming gotta learn to screen print May, I say May, I say Oh, I say May, I say Oh, I say Mayo Deadline looming show me how to screen print Booked the gallery the pressure’s on Deadline looming gotta learn to screen print I need you Rebecca, show me how it’s done Deadline looming wish that I could screen print Help me Rebecca with my colour separation Deadline looming and I need to screen print How many dots per inch to get the right gradation? Deadline looming show me how to screen print Is it one colour, two colour, three colour, four? Deadline looming and I need to screen print Six colour, eight colour, ten colour, more? Deadline looming show me how to screen print May, I say Mayo Got my squeegee and I wanna screen print May, I say May, I say Oh, I say May Makes it look easy show me how to screen print Help me Rebecca cause I’m losing my composure Deadline looming and I need to screen print I need me your secret for determining exposure Deadline looming show me how to screen print Is it one minute, two minute, three minute, four? Deadline looming gotta learn to screen print Six minute, eight minute, ten minute, more? Deadline looming show me how to screen print Mayo, Mayo Got my squeegee and I wanna screen print May, I say Mayo Makes it look easy show me how to screen print Show me Rebecca, work your magic with emulsion Deadline looming and I need to screen print I can’t get your angle or your smooth flowing motion Deadline looming show me how to screen print Mayo, Mayo Deadline looming and I need to screen print May, I say May, I say Oh, I say May, I say Oh, I say Mayo Deadline looming show me how to screen print Harry Belafonte, Banana Boat Song, 1956 He grinds it slow with 60 grit
His scraper bar’s just the right fit Knows his way ‘round gum Arabic The perfect squeeze of the nitric God of, god of lithography King of, king of lithography God of, god of lithography Lithography Six foot two and so good lookin’ Had a studio in Brooklyn The asphaltum's gettin' sweeter Think I’ve got a crush on Peter, Really moves his levigator Yeah I’ve got a crush on Peter Hey! Hey! He’ll let it etch just long enough Gets talcum when he needs to buff You’re in safe hands he won’t forget To roll it up and keep it wet God of, god of lithography King of, king of lithography God of, god of lithography Lithography Six foot two and so good lookin’ Had a studio in Brooklyn Likes to take it, nice and easy So he’s buggered off to Fiji Never fills in, no excuses He’s a miracle of tusches Really moves his levigator Yeah I’ve got a crush on Peter Lancaster, Lancaster, Lancaster, Lancaster Nirvana, Smells like teen spirit, 1991 Turpentine
And the breathing ain’t easy Eyes a’burning And my skin is so dry I’ve got an itch Over half my body My mind is a’hazy On a solvent high One of these mornings I’m gonna wake up wheezing Organic vapours They’re the reason why Acetone and Methylated spirits I’ve got my inhaler Standin’ by Turpentine And the breathing ain’t easy Eyes a’burning And my skin is so dry I’ve got an itch Over half my body My mind is a’hazy On a solvent high George Gershwin, Summertime, 1934 If I’ve entered once, I've entered twice
But I always get the same advice “While we thank you for your entry fee, This won’t be going on your cv” And I got rejected last time Becoming quite a pastime Damn elusive print prize It’s always no, no go, oh no Wanna develop professionally Can I have a funded residency? Put my application in today Dreamin’ of a printing holiday But I get the standard letter "You're gonna have to go one better Don’t start packing yet, cause It’s still no, no go, no go” And I got rejected last time Becoming quite a pastime Damn elusive print prize It’s always no, no go, oh no Another knock back, there’s no doubt Got no friends in my bank account My studio back-rent keeps on mounting Why didn’t I take up accounting? Well, I got rejected last time Becoming quite a pastime Please be yes just one time Instead of no. No go, oh no Cause it’s always no It’s no go You still say no No no no… Mick Jagger & Keith Richards, The Last Time, 1965 I’ve got something to say that might cause you pain
I’m afraid you’re gonna have to ink that up again You’ve gotta keep your hand flat When you wipe back (You’ve gotta keep it flat when you wipe back) ‘Cause I’ve told you before Ooo, you can’t print that Used relief when it should have been intaglio ink Now your paper is sticking Tell me, what were you thinking? Gotta keep your hand flat When you wipe back (You’ve gotta keep it flat when you wipe back) ‘Cause I’ve told you before Ooo, you can’t print that Wipe your edges clean Is that a fingerprint from your glove? How long has it been Since your paper was wet? What? Not soaking it yet? I can tell by the CLUNK that the pressure’s too tight You’ll rip a hole in the blanket if you don’t set it right You’ve gotta keep your hand flat, When you wipe back (You’ve gotta keep it flat when you wipe back) ‘Cause I’ve told you before Ooo, you can’t print that Ooo, you can’t print that… Keep your paper clean Is that a fingerprint from your glove? Don’t wanna cause a scene But just by the way You’ve got ink on your face! So please listen to me for the very last time You call that editioning? I call it a crime. You gotta keep your hand flat, When you wipe back (You’ve gotta keep it flat when you wipe back) ‘Cause I’ve told you before Ooo, you can’t print that . . . John Lennon (Beatles), You can’t do that, 1964 I’ve been drawing for a lifetime
Done a course at CAE I have dabbled with some drypoint Time to get me my degree If I make it through my interview Then I’m gonna try with all my might To get more than a credit Set the printing world aflame Better sign me up for Open Bite! Now it’s the end of February And the academic year has started I wanna go to RMIT I wanna go to RMIT Wanna get my education In an old undies factory Using printing apparatus From a forgotten century And if sometimes I don’t know what to do And I need some ink We’re running low on blue Or a press needing setting There’s a tech not far away In the office by the gender-neutral loo Now it’s the end of February And the academic year has started I wanna go to RMIT I wanna go to RMIT Oh, yeah Oh, yeah I wanna go to RMIT I wanna go to RMIT And it’s okay When There’s no milk for my tea Cause best of all It’s right Across from ALDI Yeah, best of all It’s right Across from ALDI I wanna go to RMIT Hunters&Collectors, Throw Your Arms Around Me, 1984 I wanna be a star, mama
Of the printmaking firmament, So I jumped into my car, mama And I bought myself a roll, of the best linoleum Well I sharpened up my tools, mama So I could make a print like Rew’s But they won’t obey the rules, mama They’re going off in all directions, and it looks like number twos Give me a sign oh won’t ya, mama Will I ever make the cut? Pour me a wine oh won’t ya, mama I’m almost ready to give up Thought I'd change it up a gear, mama I hear reduction's all the trend But I've been printing half a year, mama, And still there's no sight of the end Maybe I need a lighter touch, mama I wanted this bit to be black But then I slipped and cut too much, mama And now I’ll never get it back I’m going psycho ain’t I, mama? It’s caused me nothing else but grief I blame the lino on it, mama How the hell is this ‘relief’? Well I'm filling up with doubt, mama And my ink is full of crud And my registration's out, mama And I've just pulled another dud I’ve got a band aid on each thumb, mama Lost me a pint of blood, or three And my arms are going numb, mama Now my carpel is a’tunneled, and my back is killing me I’m going psycho ain’t I, mama? Don’t think I’ll ever make the cut I blame it on the lino, mama Oh mama, why don’t I just give up? Leon Payne, Psycho, 1968 I met her at a gallery in Collingwood
Where they serve champagne and some rather good Cambonzola Z-O-L-A zola She limped up to me with a cheeky grin Had her leg in a cast from kickboxing In Altona Unless I heard wrong? Maybe it was Werribee? She asked “Do you wanna do a folio With an animal theme and a travelling show in October? Said I’d think it over But I know that the moment she hands me a badge Of a nautical seagull puffing on a fag I’m a goner, I can’t deny Rona, Ro ro ro ro Rona With her tattooed pets and sharpie hair I’m seeing Rona everywhere Tell me, what is it about this girl from Geelong And her fringe-dwelling misfits that just wanna belong? It’s insane to edition to sixty-four But when she asks me the question I say “Of course!’ to my Rona R-O-N-A Rona Ro ro ro ro Rona Rona R-O-N-A Rona, Ro ro ro ro Rona I slaved every day, From dusk until dawn, I slept on the floor, I can’t feel my knees! Rona can I have an extension please? A fortnight to go and the nightmares begin Seeing visions of amputees in animal skins made by Rona Wont leave me alone Reprobate cats with Soviet tatts Head hunting Dalmations What’s up with that? Tell me Rona, A dodgy persona? At the point where I start to loose my hair I remember the flippin’ questionnaire As I’m tearing the tissue paper to the same size I’m haunted by lagamorphs with Aaron’s eyes Finally handing my folio in It’s another print prize she’s beaten me again! Bloody Rona, R-O-N-A Rona, Ro ro ro ro Rona Rona, R-O-N-A Rona, ro ro ro ro Rona… Ray Davies (The Kinks), Lola, 1970 |
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